Dangerous E-mail

JeanValjean131 <jeanvaljean131@my-deja.com>

I was getting worried that I wouldn’t have anything to contribute to AFTSD this year when it was proposed again. With work and family constraints being what they are this time of year, and after reading the amazing post by QuantumLeap, probably some of the best writing I’ve ever read on this board, and  with my verbal skills being significantly lower than my math skills I thought I’d skip this year.
 
However, shortly after Rebel quit being the founder of the Yahoo! Clubs site, NYC strip clubs, and drafted me, I received the following completely unsolicited e-mail:
 
> IMANI@webtv.com--> what up i wanna dance can you help me out
>
> (These e-mails are copied verbatim, only the specifics have been
> changed to protect the not so innocent.)
 
“You bet I can” I replied, and asked for details as to her location and a physical description, age, can she travel etc.  I offered to recommend a few clubs.   (Unfortunately, I don’t save any outgoing e- mails but I’ll give you the gist of my responses). I don’t hear anything for about a month or so and I forget about it.
 
Thursday, I get this response:
 
> IMANI--> Hi  I live in Brooklyn am 18 years old and no i dont
> have a car  i have a permit and yes i have dance before.
> NO where in Brooklyn unless it is not in Flatbush.
> Thank you.
> PS I am 5'3 yes am thick .
 
Damn, an 18 year old thick shortie. I think I have a pair of jeans older than that.   5’3” and thick, are we talking about Janet Jackson or Oprah thick here?   With pictures of Li’l Kim running through my mind; I give her the addresses and some info about Passion Bar and Taste of Honey. These are two of my current favorite clubs, and both could use fresh meat.  Being thick is no problem in either of these clubs; in fact, it’s an asset.  I also tell her to bring a male friend to cover her back, she’s just a kid.
 
Today, Friday I get this e-mail:
 
> IMANI -->They both sound aright. And i guess i need to hook up
> with you because I don’t have any male friend who would take me
> so how do we hook  give some imformation.
> By the way it has to be before Thursday it can be tuesday are
> wednesday get back at me Thank you for your help.
> Imani
 
Whoa, this is an interesting development.  Not wanting to be arrested, I check a website that I squirreled away for just such an occasion, www.ageofconsent.com.  It turns out that the age of consent for New York is 17.  So at least I won’t be doing anything illegal.  She’s so young though, but what the fuck, you only live once and I’ll probably need some fodder for next year’s AFTSD so I ask her for her phone # and when I can call.
 
A little over 3 hours ago, I find this in my inbox:
 
> IMANI-->718 5551234 Ask for Imani if you dont get me try to live a
> number for me to call you back.
> PS dont tell my nosy family members my business
> I will be home Monday after 8pm
 
I put her phone # in a reverse telephone directory and it comes up with the name and address of a Harold ######## in the Flatbush area of Brooklyn near Prospect Park.  I can’t believe she’s using her real name.  I just hope Harold, probably her dad, doesn’t answer the phone when I call.
 
IS IT MONDAY YET?