Strip Club Review Refrigerator Magnet Set

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12/02/2002

Strip Club Review Refrigerator Magnet Set

You're a busy professional who doesn't have the time to write strip club
reviews. Yet you feel bad that others are able to write up their exploits on a
regular basis. Now there's a modern solution to this age-old problem, and it
costs just pennies a day.

Introducing the Strip Club Review Refrigerator Magnet Set: Starter Edition
($29.99). With absolutely no training, you'll soon be posting reviews on ASSC
just like a regular. Why post reviews on ASSC? An independently funded study by
a major university has proven that ASSC reviews can lead to social and
financial success.

Each starter edition comes with 500 club-related words and phrases printed on
premium-quality magnetic blocks. Select the blocks that fit your impressions of
the club, arrange the blocks into sentences, and you'll have an instant strip
club review. Place the blocks on your refrigerator door for everyone to see.
Mix and match the blocks for hours of fun.

Here's a sample list of the words and phrases that are included in the
500-piece starter edition:

*Useful Nouns*
air dance, table dance, lap dance, garter, bra, top, bottom, seat, stage, pole,
breasts, tits, nipple, mouth, leg, crotch, finger, tongue, spotlight, sex toy,
underwear, musician-boyfriend, soy sauce

*Prominent People*
dancer, ATF, PL, manager, waitress, bouncer, policeman, lawyer, bailsman, wife,
girlfriend, process server

*Popular Pronouns*
she, he, it, oh-my-god-she's-a-male

*Action Verbs*
sat, stood, glimpsed, touched, slid, placed, teased, tempted, wiggled,
caressed, slurped, thrust, loved, laid, surrounded, humped, stick shifted,
splooged, depleted, epiphanized

*Descriptive Adjectives*
attractive, high-mileage, sexy, topless, nude, naked, gorgeous, uncontrollable,
uncanny, delicious, delirious, friendly, insistent, trash-talking,
shit-kicking, over-the-hill, straight-off-the-farm, milk-fed, barely legal

*Common Dialogue Phrases*
Wanna dance, I just got here, Maybe later, I'll come back, I'm on stage next,
Haven't I seen you around here before, I'm new here, I'll be right back after I
dance for this guy, Care to buy the dancer a drink, Just one more, Let's make
it an even $100, I only have enough left for the cab, Didn't you bring your
credit card, It's much better in the VIP room, The lap dances are hotter during
the day, The lap dances are hotter at night, Take your finger out of there or
I'll call the manager, Going commando, You came prepared, Which way is the
bathroom, When does your shift end, I get off at four o'clock, Where are you
staying, Have you ever had two at the same time, Will you buy me that, Can I
borrow some money, Can I borrow your car, Keep the change

*Time Related*
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, morning,
afternoon, evening, midnight, dawn, minute, hour, day, week, month, year, last,
next, shift, song, cut song, severely cut song, two-for-one, three-for-one,
open, close, sudden-loss-of-consciousness

*Money Related*
dollar bill, tip, ATM, credit card, rip-off, Washington, Lincoln, Hamilton,
Jackson, Grant, Franklin, shopping, new car, new dress, new boots, new boob
job, flowers, pianos, mortgage, bankruptcy, divorce

*Miscellaneous Articles and Prepositions*
a, the, to, in, on, around, near, inside, between, among, within

*Fill in the Blank*
Use one of the starter set's 30 blank magnetic blocks to fill in a specific
dancer name, city name, club name, or dollar amount.

Add-on packs include selected words and phrases from the ASS-C Glossary
($9.99), Webster's Dictionary of Popular Slang ($19.99), the AMA Gynecological
Dictionary ($29.99), and the collected works of Henry Miller ($39.99).

For an additional $50, you can have your ATF's stage name (or real name)
embossed in 14 caret gold onto a limited edition magnetic block. Sorry, we
can't accept returns with this item, though there is an active resale market on
eBay for some of the more popular dancer names.

So you don't forget, order before twelve midnight!