Saxbeat Warns: BE CAREFUL!

ALS-->  Be careful, you might get what you wish for, as evidenced by the
"Conti Clubs" (NC, MSC, Regal) fallout.

ZBone--> You should be careful of what you ask for.

What more evidence do you need, boys and girls? Two of the highest
deitys in ass-c warn us to be careful regarding the attainment of our
innermost desires. Obviously, these guys know better, and have the
experience and wisdom to warn the rest of us PLs.

Here, based on an intensive study conducted by Johns Hopkins University
researchers, are some of the more dangerous results of incautious
wishing:

Case Study 1: A customer wished he could be with his favorite dancer
forever. The next day, she went home with him from the club. At first
it was great, because she was a total nympho, but by the end of the
week, she had moved into his house, borrowed his car, chased away his
cat, followed him to the office, and gotten him fired. He tried to
escape her, but she tracked him down and moved into his new apartment
with her unemployed guitar-playing ex, and stole his unemployment
checks for drugs. After a month, he killed himself. The dancer felt so
badly, she did the same, and when they arrived in hell, Satan himself
performed their wedding ceremony.

Case Study 2: A customer of a club in San Diego wished he could be in
San Francisco, just so he could meet Mollie. The next morning, he woke
up to find himself in bed with BFD.

Case Study 3: After a geeky-looking computer nerd told her he'd give
her a million bucks to sleep with him, a dancer at the Deja Vu in
Seattle called security over and had him thrown out of the club. She
wished for the sake of other dancers that the geek wouldn't ever go to
a strip club again. And that was the last time Bill Gates ever tried a
stunt like that.

Case Study 4: While visiting a club on an out-of-town business trip, a
customer mused that he would do anything to get laid, especially if he
could have a three-way with a blonde and a brunette. That night, the
club was busted, and the customer was thrown into prison for not having
ID. The customer got his wish, thanks to the efforts of Bruno and Keanu
at the County holding tank.

Case Study 5: After his favorite club was ruined by a greedy owner, a
customer wished that he could find a seedy little club, invigorate it
with all his favorite dancers, and make it a focal point for strip club
socializing for the entire United States. His wish came true, and soon,
he found that everyone wanted him to be their friend, and he was
besieged from all sides with ever-more imposing requests... Soon, he
became reclusive, like Elvis, and never left his mansion,
"Disgraceland."

Case Study 6: After wishing that he could find a girl to lap dance him
all night long, a customer was tied into a seat and forcibly lap-danced
for 48 straight songs. Three hours later, he was released, and his
penis has never functioned normally again. The mere thought of a strip
club renders him impotent for days, and the only thing that gets him
off is a mental image of BFD being carried to the stage at ass-con1.

Case Study 7: A married customer wished he could be free to go to strip
clubs as much as he wanted, and the next week, his wife left him. At
first, he was ecstatic, and began going to clubs almost every night,
but after a month, the lack of second income combined with the
increased spending left him broke. So broke, in fact, that he couldn't
even afford to drive by a strip club. After six months, he was
destitute, and living in a mission home with a bunch of homeless men,
who tied him down one night, BF'd him, then gummed him to death.

Saxbeat