If OldFool72 had not cancelled his cable TV, would he have seen Big Al's on A&E? and... If Bill Kurtis worked for NBC, would he be bigoted against strippers? and... If sports announcers didn't have big hair, would they report rape cases better? and... If penetration without consent is rape, would consent without penetration be a misdemeanor? and... If Canadians without beer existed, would strip clubs with Canadians become bordellos? and... If french fries without ketchup caused bi-sexuality, would McDonald's offer mayo in San Francisco? and... If Deja Vu wasn't a chain, would bar charts give Eye a boner? and... If Saxbeat had never hung up his quill pen, would they still be playing the Super Bowl? and... If beer at strip clubs was free, would Peakay move to Miami? and... If Tampa didn't have bikini bars, would Wookman notice the difference? and... If pheasants were an endangered species, would alarm clocks go off in the forest? and... If Agent 99 didn't have watch files, would spammers be more annoying? and... If Gemini's book wasn't so bad, would Darklady have anything to sell? and... If Tyffany Million spelled her name 'Tiffany', would RJ be going to airshows? and... If The Who had had two Keiths, would they spell their name 'Mark' or 'Marc'? and... If ASSC became alt.soc.strip.clubs, would 95% of the posts be PhoneSoc ads? and... If engineers stopped reading SciFi, would 95% of Farah slacks be plaid? and... If Bob Smyth was an Illinois bean farmer, would they allow pajamas at Big Al's? and... If A&E made it into a series, would OldFool72 get his cable back? CMG