From: lmr@ix.netcom.com (LMR)
Subject: ASSC: ASSCon-LV3, Host's Point of View

First of all, I'd like to thank everyone who actually made it out to
Las Vegas for this epic event. The following are just a few snippets
of an incredible week which, for me, actually started the monday
before ASSCon-LV3.

THE TROPHY GUY

When Jim Forte offered to take all of us ASSC'ers out to dinner prior
to ASSCon-LV3, we felt it would only be fitting that we get him a
small token of our appreciation.  Should we get him some MaCallan 25
year? Well, he doesn't really drink. How about some Montecristo #2's?
No... he doesn't smoke cigars. Laps! Well, anyone can buy their own
laps anytime and that's such a personal choice anyway. So a few days
before LV3, I end up in a mom n' pop trophy shop somewhere in the Las
Vegas suburbs and start my quest for the perfect gift.  Should we get
a trophy? Not sure, but too bad there aren't any naked lapper figures
they can stick on a trophy. A plaque? Yes, that's it. A plaque would
do great, but what would we put on the thing? The proprietor of the
shop figured the best thing to do was for me to write down what we
wanted on the plaque first and then we could go from there; so I wrote
the following on a sheet of paper:

	A.S.S-C

	Presented to
	Jim Forte

In appreciation of hosting the
welcome to Las Vegas Dinner.

It was simple. The plaque looked classy. Finito, correct? Not quite.
The owner looks at the sheet and says, "ASSC? That's the usenet
newsgroup right?  I read that thing all the time!  Heck, I'll be at OG
on friday night!"  I looked at him with my mouth open.  Talk about
running into lurkers at the strangest places.  Anyway, he even ended
up spending some extra time in helping me find a great piece of
clipart for the plaque. I hope Jim liked it. Thanks again for dinner!

CARA 404 / SULLI'S JACUZZI

Cara St. James, cara.net, CaraBaby ... was supposed to meet up with a
group of us early on Thursday. However, she decided to pop into
Olympic Garden to work a few hours first. After learning that working
during CES is not all that, I get a voicemail message: "I'm calling
from the Denny's on the strip, leave a voicemail at my hotel telling
me where you're gonna be."  At this point, I was going to head over to
Sulli's suite at the Luxor to meet up with Bubba, Devon, DaraLynne,
Maz, Ginger, Teena, Marc182, and Tiffany.  So I called her voicemail,
and it doesn't work. Uh oh. So I called information- Denny's on the
Strip please. "Sir, there are 5 Denny's on the strip."  AHHHHH! Well,
lets just say there were no cute lil' Greek girls with black hair at
any of the 5 Denny's. 

I end up at the Luxor, only to be paged by Cara again. "Hey, I'm back
at my hotel now!"  Well, get your butt down to the Luxor!  

After roaming the Luxor awhile looking for incinerator #2, I finally
head up, and walk... and walk...  and man, I feel like I'm doing a
marathon. It was like 26 miles, really!, to Sulli's suite. Everybody
was there and somehow, yes, most of us ended up in the hottub. Thanks
DL and Sulli for the drinks. Oh ya, there were flashes and pictures
again. Who's camera was all this going on? That's what my campaign
manager would like to know. RING RING ... Hey, it's Cara... heh, and
she's lost downstairs. When she finally got up to the suite, we were
all about to head downstairs again to grab a bite to eat. Dyn0 and
Serena made a surprise visit as well!

LATE FOR DINNER?

If you know me, you'll know the concept of LMR-time. I can easily put
stripper time to shame. Granted, I was supposed to pick up Ginger and
Cara, thus making it LMR+stripper time. However, this time, we also
had to wait for my brother, making it LMR+LMR's brother+stripper time.
Let's just say we were about an hour late to the Jim Forte dinner
friday night.  Luckily, the dinner was moving along quite slowly and
they hadn't even served up the salads yet.  I started passing out the
ASSCon-LV3 badges which looked ultra cool- even on the floor as I
spilled them, which caused a nice applause in the room. Thanks to
Abnormal for the design. It took me forever to laminate and cut those
suckers tho', and Ginger and I must have snagged about 100 of the CES
badge neck loops for our own little Las Vegas event. Actually, that
was kinda fun. The CES people really looked at us funny when we kept
asking for more. Okay, back to dinner. The following were the
attendees for the dinner:

Amanda, Andy (Bub's friend), Bubba, Cara, Charlie (SPBill), Chris
Hansen (T&182), DaraLynne, Devon, Dragonfly, Dyn0, Elanna, Fixer, fkn,
Janie (Forte), JayJ, Jim Forte, Jimmy (LA lurker), Josh2000, K-9,
Kenhx, Kevin (LMR), Laar, Link, LMR, Lord Mandrake, Marc182, Marcus
Guy, Mark Green, Max (LA lurker), Mazoola, Nickuno, Pervoboy, Ren
(Xique), Rita, Saibaba, Serena, SlowpokeBill, Sullivan, Susie (PB),
Ted (LMR), Teena, Tiffany, Todd Owens (T&182), Trighap, Xique

Yes, the dinner got a lil' crazy. I don't think that restaurant ever
had gals pulling up their dresses and flashing before with cameras
going off everywhere. Bubba was in full form with collar and dogdish.
I don't know where someone would even get the remotest idea that
dancers have more fun outside of stripclubs than in 'em. Brat Princess
DaraLynne and flirty Amanda both had skirts which flew up without
notice.  Beautiful ASSC'ers Ginger and Teena somehow both ended up on
the top of their booths, elevated above everyone, several times
through the evening while chatting up a storm. Tiffany and her
incredible cleav.. uh, I mean eyes. Serena looked lovely, but possibly
a bit overwhelmed.  Janie kept pressing me to trade shirts with her.
Our cute as a button gal next door, Cara, popped in and out of booths
like she owned the place, and Rita, oh Rita, that gorgeous hair, the
dreamy eyes, that demure smile... wait, what was I talking about? Oh
dinner!  I'm still not sure who the two LA lurkers were, but I ate
their salad and accidently drank all their wine. Oops!

OLYMPIC MADHOUSE

When we finally got into Olympic Garden friday night, I asked the
doorman how many people had asked him about the ASSC event prior to
the people with the green badges showing up. He said about 15 to 20.
Uh oh. He also said a lot of those guys left. Sorry guys... I know, I
know, we were about two hours late. How am I ever going to catch up?
Anyway, by this time the place was mobbed with CES conventioneers and
we had moved ASSCon-LV3 upstairs. The group was getting huge, and the
roster of people in addition to the people from the restaurant were as
follows:

ALS, AndyE (PDM), Borly, Corinn (Rayne), Edie, Elizabeth (Krogar),
Erip, JackF, Jay Seidel (PDM), Justphil, Kid, Krogar, Liza (PDM), LLC,
Loren (PDM), Marlow (PDM), Monique (LLC), Neil (JP), OCRob, Ook,
Pringle, Raul (LA Lurker), Rayne, Scottie (LMR), Sick66, Speedracer,
Tallguy, Tim (PDM), Zbone

This of course didn't include the people who showed and left and
whoever else I didn't know to write down. 

DILDO PARADE

I hadn't even been in Olympic Garden 15 minutes when good ol' Saibaba
comes up to me with a plastic bag and starts pulling out one toy after
another. Huh?  Okay okay... they said they were gonna pull something
on me, but I didn't know it was gonna be a bunch of dildos! 

The Brazen Hussy, MsGinger, had gotten me this huge honkin' strap on.
The same one she used while on stage at the Chez Paree over a year
ago. Hey man, I saw her sister deep throat that thing! Marc182 and
Teena gave me this great looking cucumber, altho' she felt the size
was a bit underwhelming. Don't worry, it was enjoyable nonetheless,
and was quite fresh and crunchy. Tallguy gave me this big purple
sheath thing which someone said Kid had tried to deepthroat. Now,
don't get me wrong Kid, but I don't think that's what you were
supposed to do with it.  Amanda gave me her enthusiastic Ben Wa egg.
Oh my, that thing really takes off. And Sai, well, he couldn't resist
giving me the vibrating wonder which he wrote about in one of his
posts in ASSC past. The ever so wonderful Rita gave me her
personalized Amtrak toy carefully wrapped in a pretty green scarf.
Now, at this point, the house dancers at the Garden were really
looking at me funny. Thanks for the gifts. I'll treasure each one of
them dearly.

MAIN EVENT

Where else can you see: MsGinger, DaraLynne, and Cara in compromising
straddle style positions with each other (well, besides the Hardrock
Hotel that is, but that's another story altogether).  BYOD's jumping
all over everyone's laps. ALS and Edie in Las Vegas form. Non-Mock,
well, attempted non-mocks. Ahem, Sai, how are you? MsGinger spanking
SICK66 with a belt. Krogar's wife Elizabeth's eyes flip and flutter
while getting a lapdance. Ook. Just"I don't lap"Phil getting grinded
away for hours! People confuse Zbone and Laar. Managers ogle at Bubba
crawling across the floor, and of course, over 70 people with green
badges running around one of the largest strip clubs west of the
Mississippi. All this plus so much more... it was just amazing.

EPILOGUE

The whole weekend was a blur, but that's not necessarily a bad thing.
Besides, that's what pictures are for. I was where? I did what?  Oh
my, it looks like I did.  It was great to spend time with old friends
while making new acquaintances and solidifying new friendships. I just
wish I had more time to spend. What I wrote barely covered 5% of my
entire trip. There really was that much going on. I hope everyone had
as much fun as I did. See you all next year!


LMR
--
Las Vegas Strip Club Review
http://www.stripclubreview.com/lasvegas/