From: ritajrich@aol.com
Subject: ASSC Cake and Eat It


RITA's ASSCon-LV3 Report:

I've been working on different versions of this but they have become
either too theory-ridden to be anything I could actually finish before
LV-4 or too intensely personal to be anything I can share yet.	Here's
what I am struggling with: ASSCon-LV3 was strange for me because I
experienced it so completely as both a dancer and a patron/participant. 
From which perspective do I write from?  Lately I have been thinking more
and more that those two roles---dancer and customer---are two sides of
the same coin. (That's when I go off on the theory tangent.)

Although I have never gone alone to a strip-club as a customer, there is
no question that I occupy a bizarre and unusual position in this
industry.  It is as if I think I am a Regular Artist, not one who Takes
Off Her Clothes:  Like the actor who attends movies and plays; the
painter who visits openings and gallery shows; or the writer who
frequents poetry readings, I see myself as both producer and consumer in
the adult entertainment industry.  As a producer I feel quite passionate
about my work.	My interests as consumer stem from a curiosity about what
else is going on in the business, a desire to celebrate and support an
essential service, and finding it helpful to meet peers and other people
with similar interests/views, not to mention a deeply sensual nature
that, like any customer, finds a certain satisfaction in an encounter
with a professional.

It has always been pretty easy for me to differentiate the sides of my
personality but the trip to Las Vegas challenged that.	Theoretically, if
I had paid my own way to Asscon-LV3, and attended solely as a patron of
the industry,  I probably wouldn't be struggling with this so much.  But
I didn't.  Nick, my all-time-regular (uh oh, now I AM getting the roles
confused, heh heh.) took care of my expenses, for which I am very
grateful.  Consequently I had a title, which was BYOD.	As in, "I am
Rita, Nick's BYOD."

If I had not been a BYOD, I would have behaved the same way: mercilessly
teasing MARK GREEN, hungrily yanking on BUBBA's leash, coquettishly
enjoying the generosity of JAYJ's lap.	I would have still exchanged
knowing glances with LINK about the DejaVu-ness of DejaVu Little
Darlings, and I would have held a completely sane and reasonable
conversation with the very understanding MARC182 while slipping my hand
into his shirt sleeve to lightly tickle his biceps.  I still would have
discussed the prospect of opening a club in Salt Lake City with
SLOWPOKEBILL and CHARLIE.  No doubt I would have still begged ALS for
another chance to interview him; I would have begged FIXER for more
dollar bills when we were up at the rail; I would still have grilled K-9
about what it's like to photograph porn starlets.  I'm sure I still would
have grabbed SAIBABA, pulled him into a booth at the restaurant, and
asked him if my outfit matched OK.  I still would have delightedly
shivered every time SERENA looked my way.  I still would have demanded an
explanation from MAZ, regarding why he and the pantingly sexy DARALYNNE
disappeared from the CP as soon as I made my grand re-entrance.  I still
would have envied GINGER's latex pantsuit. (!!!)

I still would have let NICKUNO see my vulnerable side---the barely awake,
pyjama-ed side of me that insisted on going to Denny's at 4 in the
morning for buffalo wings.  I still would have been totally unable to
keep my hands off  SICK66, even when we were sitting at the rail and the
dancers were on him, too.  (He finally subdued me by buying a couple of
dances for me, just so he could watch my expression change from that of a
healthy and slightly drunk stripper to what many eyewitnesses report is
the exact facial expression of a 17-year-old boy encountering his first
live naked girl ever.)	And of course, if I had not been a BYOD, I would
still have felt, ulp, well, kinda shy around the disarmingly charismatic
LMR.

But I was a BYOD and the whole situation reminded me of a
yet-to-be-published-conversation with ALS held a few months ago during
which he talked about the faux-glamour of this industry.  He seemed to
suggest that the kind of light-headed celebrity status a dancer sometimes
feels is only an illusion.  He may be right but I can't deny the realness
of how much honest pleasure I got while spending a few exhilarating hours
with a bunch of guys who knew how to make me feel like a god-damned movie
star!

Thanks, darlings.