ASS-Con Tampa Report 
Author: squid
Email: squid@my-dejanews.com
Date: 1998/09/07

[We didn't have the best planning for this trip.  Our only rallying point at
the meeting place was a skinny Asian wearing a brown leather jacket, (AgentQ).
If anyone showed and we missed you then I apologize.]

People don't seem to be afraid to haul ass in Tampa.  I cruised into town
doing 70mph through a construction zone.  A printed copy of AgentQ's
directions sat in the passenger seat with my portable CD player that was
blasting Cherry Poppin' Daddies through the rental car's tape deck.  And I
was still in the slow lane.

After wondering up and down Dale Mabry I finally found, the agreed meeting
place, Tia's Tex Mex.  I was a bit early so I took a seat at the bar and
ordered a Tacate.  Perhaps some people think all Mexican beer needs a slice of
lime to be palatable, but I disposed of it and drank it like a real man.

A man wearing what looked suspiciously like lap dance attire took a seat at
the bar.  I wasn't sure how to introduce myself and inquire if he might be a
fellow ASS-Cer. Then I see him fumbling with a button that I recognize as an
ASS-CON1 button.  He turns out to be Sixtyminman and we BS until AgentQ
showed.

We continued the BS session after AgentQ arrived while visually searching the
room for more members.  Dinner was good and fairly inexpensive.  I still
prefer real Mexican food over Tex Mex.  We finally decided to head to Mons
Venus about 9pm.

I've read, and heard, a lot about Mons Venus.  With the high prices and heavy
hustle it sounded like a club I wouldn't like.  I was really expecting the
worse.  But I'm always willing to visit a new club, especially since it was an
ASSC get together.

I was overwhelmed when I entered the club.  Here was a well-maintained club
with, it seemed, as many dancers as customers and one stage with 3 nude women
on it.  The couches around the perimeter of the room were full of undulating
bodies.  The women wondering the floor were in various states of undress
including several that I never saw wearing any clothing.  The best word I can
think of to describe this club would be 'anarchy'.  The word 'circus' also
comes to mind.  I don't think I've seen so many nude women at one time before.

When I enquire about finding a table and Q tells me that you just kind of
hang out.  I didn't mind the hustle too much.  Only a few used the
"Wannadance?" line.  Most politely introduced themselves and asked if I was
enjoying myself before asking if I would like a dance.  Then some just threw
themselves into my arms and tried their best to talk me out of my money. 
Only one dancer really started to annoy me with her hustle.

60 quickly disappeared with a dancer and I fell back with Q to try to get into
the right mood.  I soon fell into my groove and ended up having one of my best
experiences in a strip club.  I must have come up with at least a half dozen
new lines to strippers.

I spent several minutes trying to decide which dancer to start with while
working on a case of whiplash watching the lovely ladies.  I tried to tip at
the stage, but I was interrupted by a small hand on my arm and I looked down
into a set of deep brown eyes.  Here was a lovely, very petite, Cuban girl
wearing only a pair of jeans and tennis shoes.  She looked just like the
Latina next door without a shirt on.  "Hi, I'm Temptation." "Yes, you are."
"How would you like the best dance in the house?  There's a money back
guarantee." "That means I would have to try every dancer in here and
compare." "Trust me." "Uh, ok." Not too bad, but I stopped after one dance. 
She was very quick about collecting her money and leaving after the dance.  I
wanted to try others while keeping the budget under $100.  I even gave
instructions that I should be physically restrained if seen heading for the
ATM.

My next encounter was with a dancer whose name I don't remember.  She really
wasn't my type, but she was really tall.  And I like tall women.  I let her
talk me into a dance that I didn't enjoy.  She was into the full body grind
and I'm not used to having a woman my size lay on top of me.  I thought she
was going to smother me.  The wood factor with her was 0.5 so I ditched her
after one song.

My third encounter was with Shay<sp?>.  This was the last dance I planned on
getting.  She had a very cute face and large breasts.  I didn't realize they
were fake until I put my hands on them.  She was very good and we seemed to
click.  She directed my attention to the mirrored ceiling to 'enhance' the
experience.  After the first song she asks if I would like the special.  When
I told her that I only had $30 she said; "That's the special.  One for $20 or
two for $30."  Duh, ok.  Everyone else has told me that the specials are one
for $20 or three for $50.

By now I had gone from being overwhelmed to dazed.  BadDog showed up to join
our party around 11pm, I think.  60 disappeared for quite a long time and we
were starting to think he might be MIA.  One young lady tried to convince me
to get a dance and her hard sell was better than the second dance I bought. 
Two dancers working together accosted me.  One groped my gameboy while the
other reached in my shirt to play with my nipples.  A thin blonde that I had
been watching came by and I had to tell her that I had reached my budget. 
"I'm sorry I didn't get a dance with you," I said. "It's ok." "No, I'M sorry
I didn't get a dance with you." That got a big smile out of her.

AgentQ, BadDog and I ended up near the stage when I felt the need to tip one
of the dancers.  She put her legs over my shoulders, her arms around my neck
and her tits in my face.  I put my arms around her and she told me that this
was the only warm spot in the club.  I coaxed her into staying there for the
rest of the song.  I think that was the HMS for the night.

Soon I found myself staring down into the big brown eyes of Temptation again.
With her hands thrust into her back pockets she asked if I would like another
dance.  Let me go find that ATM.  I stopped after a single song and decided it
was time to head back to Orlando.  60 was leaving at the same time so the
little party split up around midnight.  Total damage was less than $120.

I would have been happy not having experienced Mons Venus, but now I've been
there and I want to go back.  It looks like AgentQ and I will be back in the
area next month.  I'll start saving money now so my budget is larger.  Anyone
else up for it?

squi