From: Dave's Friend 
Subject: Report: LA-ASSC-Convoy 9/24
Date: Wed, 25 Sep 1996 10:22:37 -0700

I found Sam's Hof Brau without any trouble.  In fact, the 45 mile drive
only took 60 minutes during rush hour.  Wow!

It's a friendly place, but the dancers seem to stick to their regulars.
You have to go out of your way to tip them, and to talk to them.  The
stage is the best I've seen anywhere, with enough toys to keep even a SF
dancer from being bored in LA.  The food was not great.  I ordered a
chef's salad, with dressing on the side; it was served with the dressing
permeating every vegetable on the plate.  The service varied; the day
server was good, but seemed either busy or slow.  After she left there
was little opportunity to order, and if someone did stop by you had to
stop the conversation and try to remember: do I need anything right now?
Then the conversation could restart anywhere, but not where you left it.  

I expected more pool tables, for some reason.

After hearing the DJ for a short time it was clear that Sam's does not
perform drug tests for its employees.  Further, the volume of the songs
varied from VERY LOUD to being more dangerous than the smoke.  No
kidding, OSHA would have a field day.  I tried to call my wife, but I
could not converse with her.  They owe me for that phone call.  He tried
to get the "internet guys" (I think that was us) involved a little, but
he didn't have breasts, so I ignored him.  RJ doesn't have breasts
either, but he does have nice legs from all that running.

I walked in and was immediately greeted by ALS and IRL.  We caught up,
chatted, and watched the end of the day shift.  I teased ALS about his
recent "reality" post, then pointed out a few posts of mine that were
embarassing afterward (e.g., Plaza).  He didn't remember seeing them.
We agreed that he wasn't paying much attention to ASSC; but I've met
Edie, and I don't blame him.  I mentioned a recent personal tragedy
which almost kept me away, and he topped me (no, not that way BFD), so I
felt better.  Sort of.

IRL kept asking for a phone jack, having brought his laptop.  I think
obsession comes in many forms, and we should not be too quick to feel
bad about the nudie bar one.  We talked a little about IRC; like heroin,
it's something I've never wanted to try, and don't understand the
motivation.  But if Ginger will talk dirty to me, I might be a bit more
interested.

IRL bemoaned the "heavy" traffic (cars, not computer), where he had to
stop at times on the freeway.  I was delighted with the "light" traffic
on my route, where I got to exceed the speed limit almost half the time.
After some comparison it turned out we took the same route.

Moral: set your expectations low and you will be pleasantly suprised.

Dodger, RJ and LapMeRich showed up, and the night shift started.  It was
great to meet you, RJ.  Sorry I forgot my cigars.  Dodger showed us the
ropes, er, pulleys, and played host in Zbone's absence.  Although I went
there expressley to meet Zbone and Saxbeat, I can honestly say I didn't
miss them. LMR brought specially made hats to Sam's; they are much
classier than a button.  Thank you very much! More on LMR later.
(note: Mr. J's does not allow hats, so a button can be useful, too).

Now to the important stuff: the babes.

Although there were only four dancers, three were well worth
remembering.  Athena, as advertised, is a stunning dancer, simply
lovely.  Venice looked, as RJ mentioned, almost exactly the way a
stripper is supposed to look: stringy blonde hair, a little too much
makeup (which I personally LOVE), tall, long waisted with a pouty
expression.  She had very good stage presence.  

But the dancer who captured my attention was Adrianna.  What a doll!
You can see her picture on the web site, but it doesn't do her justice.
About 5' 6", trim, brunette, with olive (or tan) skin, perfectly shaped
breasts (enhanced), and a tush to die for.  Or at least kill Zbone for.
Her stage set was terrific.  Once she thought no one was paying any
attention so she put her top back on.  I gave her my pattented "puppy
eyes", and for once it worked!  Later, we played with the guns in the
back that they keep around for the gang bangers who hang out there; she
said, "that's pretty good for your first time".  I told her, "many women
say that".  I bought her a drink -- a lemon drop -- and she asked me how
I knew that was her favorite.  (I asked the bartender of course.)  She
is definitely good people, with eyes that smile along with the rest of
her.

Off to TJ's, and I won't bore you with the details getting there.  Let's
just say that I thought I knew what I was doing, and I was wrong.  I
have a great sense of direction, but it was wrong that night, and it's
very hard to override normally trustworthy instincts.  Sorry ALS.  So
although we drove very fast (for me), we got there last.

But that's OK.  _I_ thought of going before we left.

Someone else took notes on everyone there.  I met ENGR1 finally, Bluesky
(be sure to check out HIS web page http://home.earthlink.net/~blusky),
The Kid, HQue... I forget the rest.

TJ's has lots of dancers, but the crowd (except ASSC-ers, of course) is
incredibly cheap.  Cover Tuesday night was $10, with a mandatory $4.25
drink.  They have OJ, which was nice.  Lap dances are $10, and they do
not cut the songs.  I kid you not, for $20 you can have a lovely bikini
clad woman grinding you for over ten minutes.  I know this for a fact.

LapMeRich is the combo ALS/Bubba of TJ's.  CP is in San Francisco, and
in order to get good mileage from the dancers one should look a little
"off beat".  In Orange County things are different.  It's good to look
like a young, wealthy republican, and with his polo shirt and slacks,
healthy figure, nice ass... well, his spot was the High Mileage Seat.  

BTW, you can wear nice clothes to TJ's because dancers do not use food
products in their show.  ALS: do you have any nice clothes?

I was wearing my dockers with a pink button down short sleeved shirt.
The hat from concealed my grey hair, so I could think I looked young,
too.

I watched the stage show, chatted with ASSC-ers, generally took things
easy until I saw Her.  "LMR: who is that woman!" (as she walks into the
back to bitch about guys who don't want dances)
"That's AJ [LMR knows _everyone_].  Do you like her?"
"She looks just like Allie.  Yes. I. like. her."
"I'll go get her"

Now that's something that would really impress me: LMR going into the
dressing room to fetch a dancer for me.  Fortunately the incredibly cute
waitress, Jody(?) was at hand, and LMR asked her to go get AJ.  I handed
Jody a dollar and she looked pleasantly suprised.

AJ is a lovely brunette, with a medium build, long curly hair and a
barbell in her tongue.  Up close she doesn't look much like Allie, so I
had to work on the fantasy a little.  That's a little weird, fantasizing
about one dancer while getting a dance from another, but what the hell. 

AJ gave me a series of what I will call "Lydia Laps".  I've never met
Lydia, but Zbone's reaction to her dance was exactly how I felt: she
broke it.  During a break I noticed a drawback to wearing light pants in
black light: the sun dial effect (or in my case, the sun watch effect).
Mr. Happy is apparent to anyone looking, although it's unlikely that
anyone would be.  Next time: sweats.  And a "suggestion."

AJ gets my "thumb's up."  It would be something else up, but she
deserves the larger digit.

Sierra (Sara?) (who looks like Wednesday) and Wednesday (who doesn't)
were both on my "must see in the future" list.

I would like to try the following approach: "Wanna Dance"/"Maybe; do you
like to follow orders?"  If she does, then I can _really_ enjoy myself.
Perhaps lose my "club virginity", even, and become a BobGod.

ALS announced that he had not seen any "drop-dead gorgeous" women in
TJ's.  I agree that none of the girls had the beauty and charm of, say,
Adrianna, but virtually every girl there was attractive in some way,
even if not all of them were my type.  And there were a lot of different
women.  One or two of them didn't have piercings and tattoos, for those
who like the "natural look".

So, all in all a good time, with lots of ASSC-ers.