It was LMR's fault, damn him. He's the one who talked us into going to the
Las Vegas ASSCon about 4 or 5 days before the event. After several
attempts via the internet and through my travel agent, the quest for cheap
plane tickets resulted in utter failure. It looked as though a 7 hour road
trip to Las Vegas from Tucson, AZ would be inevitable. Don't worry. It
wasn't as bad as it sounds. Marc had never been to Las Vegas before (other
than the airport), and the last time I've been to Vegas, Circus Circus was
the big attraction and I was still about 13 years away from getting
anywhere near the blackjack tables. We left rather late (3pm) so by the
time we reached Hoover Dam, it was about 9pm. Forgive this bit of ramble,
but the dam (which I've seen many times before) is an awesome structure. I
dare anyone to look off the southern side down the enormous expanse of
concrete and not get some sort of severe contraction in their nether
regions. 

We arrived in Vegas around 11pm and found our hotel we were staying at,
the Gold Nugget off a map I bought in Kingman, AZ. Granted, I was sent
extensive and specific directions via e-mail from LMR and I'd printed a
map off the web (thanks to a URL from DrD) to both the Nugget and
Cheetah's. The only problem was that I printed hardcopies of all this
valuable information, deleted and cleared my email, and promptly left the
directions and maps at home. Marc accused me of secretly being a blonde
Japanese chick all the way to LV to my utter shame and humiliation. 

Marc and I were both pretty tired from the long drive but were unwilling
to go to bed just yet (hey, I don't think about sex _all_ the time, just
the majority). I had seen a brightly lit covered walkway (Fremont St.)
about a half block away from our hotel, so we walked down to check out.
Wow! We just found the old downtown Las Vegas, home to the famous neon
Cowgirl over Glitter Gulch. Having not read LMR's webpage in Vegas clubs
thoroughly enough, like fools we were lured in by their "No cover "charge"
marquee on the door. 

Glitter Gulch. My god, there was more plastic in this club then the
interior of a cheap foreign car. The waitress at the door seated us at the
back of the club at a table blocked by a bunch of business men standing
and gawking at the silicone barbie dolls on the stages. All the girls wore
sequinned dresses since individuality and personality was apparently
discouraged. Our drinks arrived with a bill of $24 (2 MGDs and 2 Cokes).
Marc asked the waitress again hoping that we had misunderstood. We hadn't.
No cover, but $6 drinks if you can hustle people into the door. This was a
classic tourist trap we had fallen into. After about 30 minutes, I finally
saw my first natural tit. After 45 minutes, we finished our drinks and
left, deciding that it would be more interesting to cruise the strip
rather than look at the Vegas-plastic-surgery-industry-in-sequinns any
longer. 

After the Glitter "Grab-the-Money" Gulch, we did the obligatory drive down
the Strip and got caught in the 1 am traffic jam. Trying to make amends
for forgetting the directions to Cheetah's at home, I did the "lets study
the map and see if anything sounds familiar" routine. 

"Hey, I think Wyoming sounds familiar, and I think LMR said something
about going past Olympic Gardens," 

"Doesn't it matter which way you are going to be _past_ OG?"

"Uh sure, but this street sounds familiar, turn left"

After a small search, we found our way to Cheetah's and braved the CES
crowd. The atmosphere reminded me of my home club but it was quite bit
larger. The girls were much more natural, IMHO, several notches prettier
than at the Gulch. We didn't stay very long since the lure of an luxurious
hotel room with a nice comfy king size bed of lust was too hard to resist. 

The next day dawned with very little observation since we did not awaken
until early afternoon. We originally did not intend to go to CES but, with
lack of anything better to do, we handed over the $50 and spent the rest
of the day gawking at technoweenies, home theatre systems, plasma tv
screens, DVDs, Vivid porn stars, a bobbed Bobbit, leering porn producers,
and cd-roms that guaranteed to turn your software into hardware.

So we finally make it to Cheetahs. Mark Green, may the Jehovah's Witnesses
bless his soul, was kind enough to introduce a whole slew of people to us
in quick succession. Immediate and complete name retention failure ensued
and I spent the rest of the night trying to recall the remainder of the
names. I think I asked who Edgewise was about 3 times that night (although
when speaking with him later, he was kind enough to offer lodging for my
cat when I wanted to go clubbing up in Phoenix).

I had a great time talking with Joshman, CPSteve, LMR, and others (I
apologize for not remembering your names). Then this bomb called ALS hit
my lap and I kinda disappeared under the lewd (but fun) debauchery made up
of Molli (my Betti Page goddess) and the Little Pope. I recall lunging at
Sick66 after spotting a cute little lamb hanging pathetically from the
pocket of his black leather jacket like a Greek sacrifice. I recall
getting a lapdance from Lydia (wow!) and hoping she wasn't going to stick
herself (or me) with her new ASSC pin on her t-bar.  I recall Bubba, being
the dog that he was, licking Molli's toes and sniffing crotches on
command. I recall being delightfully molested by Molli on Laar's poor
abused lap as well as the lap of Abnormal. I recall ending up on Ginger's
lap at one point and wondering how I'd convince her to come home with Marc
and I. Throughout, there was PopeALS breaking every rule of religious
sanctity that exists. There were numerous other incidents, most too
unbelievable to outline, and some to crazy to be mentioned, that occurred. 
LMR, Dodger, Marc182 and I eventually left to go see a show at the Sahara. 
The show was equivalent to a series of adult video starlets doing their
feature shows on stage with Ron Jeremy hosting. We were quite the expert
medical panel, evaluating the quality and appearance of the some of the
best boob jobs in the business.

We returned to Cheetahs at around 3 am and found most of the group had
gone. Dodger convinced me to change into my dancing gear (well, shoes and
a skimpy sling) and do a few lap dances for him. I hope he was pleased ;)
I got to do a dance for Lydia as well. I just love lapping women and then
having breakfast with them the next morning. Well, I have to qualify that.
LMR, Dodger, Sick66 and Marc182 were there as well. ASSCers make strange
bedfellows. All and all, ASSCon was a very memorable event. Thanks to
everyone for showing me a wonderful time!


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Teena                   *
a.k.a Jasmine Tea       *   Be nice to your kids,
jasmint@primenet.com    *   they'll choose your nursing home.
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