Subject: ASSC: (AFTSD) Z Bone in New York
Date: Wed, 02 Dec 1998 14:47:32 GMT

Z Bone in New York

By Link (with apologies to Joseph Campbell)

Gather 'round gentle readers for a stark and rueful tale
Of Z Bone and Molli's journey to a most oppressive hell.
Not old Gotham with lap dancing all throughout the city,
But the sad abode of zombies in search of public tittie.  

Where once they smiled and nodded, now frowns are always seen.
Where once kind words were spoken, now looks both stern and mean.
The mayor had banned the body, causing each to live in his head;
Not whole, but split through the middle. Behold the walking dead!

SubSonic, Rebel, Eye, and RGreen resolved to make things right
And lit the ASSC symbol as a beacon in the night.
They knew our heroes would answer a desperate call for aid;
Tearing down mind-forged manacles is their stock-in-trade.

From across the globe they traveled to converge on Disney Square.
As Z Bone and Molli directed them to lap palaces worn and bare.
SamKool and Yat-Tiu to Club 90, known for its sticky halls;
While Jim Forte and OG's Samantha were whisked to New York Dolls.

Ginger, Cara, and Teena descended on Private Eyes.
Guru followed discreetly in order to sample their thighs.
Tallguy found Paradise in his search for the perfect implant. 
Ook chose Church Street Harmony as ripe for the optimal rant.

Laar stopped for dinner, then ran off to Runway 69.
Saxbeat devised a scheme to lap behind the Letterman sign.
Bob "Tijuana" Smyth brought some MB ladies to Scores. 
And Dave in Phoenix ushered in some touchy-feely whores.

Z Bone and Molli rushed to the old Melody Burlesque,
Completing a city-wide circuit in the shape of a breast.
Together, the revelers lapped until a mighty sensation broke,
Forming an electrical arc erupting in sparks and smoke.

As their lapping intensified, the sparks became quite jolly.
They swarmed around each couple, then settled in on Molli.
A lightning flash, a deafening roar, and before you could call for a 
lawyer,
Molli was quickly transformed into the lap-dance goddess, Soya.

Now Soya is a saucy wench who appears in time of need.
Pure sexual energy gives her mass and appetites to feed.
She found the mayor safe at home sitting on the toilet,
Shitting names in cursive text with quick bursts to encoil it. 

As Soya gently lowered herself onto his feeble member,
He gave a start, popped his socks, and lit up like an ember.
Enveloped in a sexual frenzy, he gyrated ever harder.
A mighty sigh came from his gut, until he passed a garter.

His arms were spinning wildly; his feet they kept moving.
His head was bobbing and weaving; his beat was really grooving.
He held tightly onto her as if launched into outer space.
Then down to Earth he glided with a broad grin on his face.

Soya softly whispered something into the mayor's ear.
He replied, "Anything you wish, I will do for you, my dear."
The following day, the laws were changed to require on every block
A high-mileage strip club that's open all around the clock.

Disney soon ejected: not enough value for dollar. 
Times Square fully restored to its original squalor.
Z Bone taught Laps 101 each evening at the New School;
The Rockettes learned some new moves there, as their skills were 
retooled.

So remember, if your city ever wanders far astray,
Call Z Bone, Molli, and Soya: They can save the day.
No mayor or court is splooge-proof, no matter what the ism.
The world is seen through different eyes just before the jism.